we live in a world where men are not allowed to cry, or women to be kings. i don’t like this world, i’m a man, and i’m crying now. i cry every day. it seems to be the only thing i’m consistently good at, the only thing that comes easily to me. people say i’m … Continue reading A Woman King, A Crydian
Author: oliveray
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the eternal snow-flower storm
Today it snowed flowers on me, and I remembered all the times it snowed snow on me when I was growing up in northern Ohio, where for seven months a year the sun would disappear behind a smear of gray as far as one could breathe, which was not very far. When it snowed flowers … Continue reading the eternal snow-flower storm
is competition manly?
As we gear up for the March 28th retreat in Ronda, and since it was women's day yesterday, i got to thinking about what it means to be a man, and the subject of competition came up right away. i'm not much of a real man. I lost my taste for competition many years ago, and … Continue reading is competition manly?
The Small of god’s Things (OO8, #6)
During the Olive off-season I explore myself in new contexts with a view to developing my sense of compassion, and bettering myself in light of the person I want to be. This off-season I am exploring an old pastime, teaching, here in Thailand where peace is the local belief system's first affirmation. I have three … Continue reading The Small of god’s Things (OO8, #6)
Wittgenstein said, “Look….”
“….don’t think.” I have been a vegan/vegetarian off and on for around the last 20 years, and was still eating the occasional fish up until around 7 years ago when I made the final commitment to eliminate all animal products from my diet and life, including a few very beautiful leather goods. We were sitting … Continue reading Wittgenstein said, “Look….”
An afternoon with Michael Milken
This was many years ago and by then I was already a vegetarian, maybe a vegan, I don't remember exactly but I had been hammering into my boss the importance of health, especially if high performance was our goal. We were in Palo Alto to visit the Cisco CEO, and then we drove to the … Continue reading An afternoon with Michael Milken
a real man’s divorce story.2
...To prevent the anger from consuming me, to endure the nightmares that would follow her departure for another kind of love and life, I needed a new and very effective belief system, a new and powerful way to see the universe. It was then I would look to the east, something I had always leaned … Continue reading a real man’s divorce story.2
a real man’s divorce story.1
If anyone had a reason to feel sorry for himself, or to feel great anger, one could say I did. In fact, all my friends said I did. That I had justifiable (legal) cause for anger, legal right to fight hard for retribution for my suffering. I was living in Saudi at the time, far … Continue reading a real man’s divorce story.1
Fear is Old Technology
My body screamed at me, "Mistake! Mistake! Mistake!" but it was too late. In 8 seconds I had already fallen more than 300 meters and in just 50 more seconds would collide with the earth 12,000 feet below me at 200 kilometers an hour. My life was over. I would never hold her again. I … Continue reading Fear is Old Technology
Let go of the “letting go” myth
Yesterday in a short note to cheer me up she wrote, "let go of the past; accept the present, and have faith in the future." It all sounded nice to me, and though I had heard versions of it before, I thought I would dedicate myself to the process the next day, beginning with "letting … Continue reading Let go of the “letting go” myth
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