When I see the 9,096 visible stars under the background symphony of the jungle noises, or when I contemplate the 602,200,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms (wow!) in each breath reaching the 40 trillion cells and many more molecules of my stretching body, as I savour a ripe mango, as I float in the Gulf of Thailand listening to sand under the water, I recognise the elements of the universe in me, are me. I feel a feeling I can only poorly describe in words as being, or awareness of my being.
My cells open fearless to everything. Peaceful moments like these heal, me and all around me. I notice it days after too. Stress can’t get to me. It’s one of the most healing practices I experience.
I’m totally calm, but also totally focused. There is nothing sluggish or slumbering in me. My senses feel as they receive, without judgment or fear. It’s as if they somehow take a shortcut through my frontal cortex, my ideological inheritance. My thoughts cease. I start to open and I trust. Nothing is wrong. Nothing is right. It just is. And that’s when it comes to me. The feeling of being an extension, an integrated part of life itself. It’s like I cease to be a drop and I realise I’m the ocean. I’m the unified charge of all the electrons ceasing to contain isolated atoms. I’m a part of something so huge, so beyond me and my capability to understand that I reach simply being, as in existing. After I always come back with the same sense of immense appreciation, and of being immensely appreciated. I almost always inevitably end that moment of bliss by feeling my hands or feet unite, with gratefulness, in what most would call a prayer in peace.
It’s not my fault. It’s only my possibility.
I believe I can feel the 13.7 billion years of existence since matter began to form after the big bang, after cooking in the universal pressure cooker, until they would explode, creating clouds that then collapsed into stars and solar systems with planets and moons. From that same stew of universal matter, the atoms miraculously found each other in just the exact miraculous ratio to create miraculous life, in all the forms it takes here on Earth. Life, as seen from a mathematical standpoint, is said to be statistically impossible. And yet, it exists, the Universe as our Mother, and the Earth the womb of life composed of the same base elements – carbon, oxygen, nitrogen, hydrogen – charged by our Sun, the origin of all energy here on Earth. The exact same elements that created the universe are in all of us right now. There will never be more of those elements, a constant number on Earth, all but randomly part of the equation of life and death in the ecosystem.
The specific combinations of the billions of atoms in the universe become different life forms – microbes, plants, insects, animals – and each form makes them alive as we define it. The different forms appear to our human senses, giving us the illusion of us not being one and the same. It’s just one truth, the truth of the senses. But we are all connected in what quantum physicists call the unified field. That field can be felt, but by most of us, not seen. It is what I feel when I feel nature, and the stars. It can always be felt, anywhere anytime, but always in inner stillness. Now, the question I ask is, can we change the charge of the field?
I believe we can, at least by my definition of the field. We know that we can change our own field, but can we change other fields. What if 5 billion people did?
We are eternally and infinitely connected since the origin of the universe through a charge we can feel and use, or not feel and abuse. The first will flow without friction, the later will not. We are all shaped by elements with a plan we can’t even comprehend, just trust.
It’s not our fault. It’s only our possibility.