We grew apart, we didn’t fall apart, and it wasn’t a choice. Only the conclusions around the divorce was a choice. I even see smoking or drinking as more of a choice in leading to the ultimate separation; death. He wasn’t happy in our marriage, was that his choice to not be happy? I tried to”fix it” but it wasn’t up to me, nor the kids, it was up to him, but he couldn’t find happiness with me, he wanted me to change, and I didn’t want to change. I couldn’t become something I wasn’t, and I don’t think we had more of a choice than living an unhealthy life leading to premature death. He had to find his happiness and peace, but not by changing me.
The only difference was that he saw the separation as a failure, something wrong, I didn’t. I never saw growing apart as wrong, I saw it as life. I didn’t fall in love with him 22 years ago because it was right. I just fell in love, and now I didn’t walk another path than his because it was right, I was just me.
Sad, but not wrong. Sometimes life is sad, nothing we can avoid, but it doesn’t need to be wrong. How we see it is up to us, good or bad, or both. That’s the only choice we have. It would have been more sad to keep our couple connection intact by force when in reality it was gone. It would have been paddling against the stream, until drowning, until we sat at one of those nice restaurants without exchanging a word, watching others.
It took 3 years. Then we could start a new kind of friendship, respect the difference and create a new connection. Three years of disconnection, to finally start connecting in a total new form. Sometimes we have to disconnect to re-connect. That’s the ultimate mind detox and as such I feel hugely grateful. I’m sorry for the pain I caused, and I see the value of Ho’oponopono.
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Published by O• L I V E
O•live Retreat demystifies health and in the process it stands clear that health is far from drugs or injections made from petrochemicals.
First we make sure you know yourself, your body and what being healthy means to you, really means. Then we continue to a good cleanse on all levels, Body·Mind·Soul.
With over 15 years in this business and as Conde Nast Travel and some others put it "top-ranked" health retreat, we base our work on the O• method, derived from a multitude of methods, both old as Ayurveda and new as Orthomolecular Medicine. You'll get healthier in all areas of life (as we don't think one can leave health at home while going to work and we can't say we are healthy if we destroy our bodies over the weekend either). One is either healthy or not, within oneself and in ones habits. What that means can only be defined by each and one and if that is to indulge in the unhealthy stuff it's because it's really worth it for the only judge - you.
We offer events such as retreats, workshops, or online courses and we believe in education as the fundamentals of healing is that it's done by oneself. Others can support but it's only oneself that can heal oneself.
The key training for professionals is focused on enhanced productivity through self-inspiration and self-care. As a high equity manager in the finance sector put it - it's all about staying highly inspired. We couldn't agree more and we know how that biochemistry looks like.
Independent studies find that 96% of our guests become more healthy and stay healthy after 6 months, 82% stay healthy after a year. This is a better rate than any other retreat, treatment or training, as far as we know. Our teachings are based on modern science, and ancient evidence based techniques, and a lot of personal experience with trial and error, in the field of being a healthy human in the 21st century.
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