One of the hardest disconnections in my life was my divorce. When my ex husband became more and more grumpy, more and more miserable, he needed a change. I asked him what it was he didn’t like in his life. That was the start to our separation. I could see that he was unhappy, I felt it and got worried about his health, so I tried to heal him, please him, and understand him. I tried everything, and I even tried to avoid him to give him space. I also tried to not go down the self pity path, making my life miserable as well, become grumpy and angry myself, blame and hand out guilt. Still it didn’t make him less grumpy. I couldn’t help, I was the problem.
I said to him; Either we stay married and friends, or we separate and stay friends, but we have to be friends! I saw no other healthy way. Fighting was not an option, it was silly, friendship was the only sensible way for me. I hoped, prayed, tried in all ways to be friends – we have kids! I begged him to not think of him, to have empathy for the kids and me, to think more of the family economy than his. But he couldn’t. I felt anger and revenge, even if it was his decision, maybe even unconscious. The only language he understood was money. When he once again went behind my back, I gave up! After too many stabs in the back I gave up. I felt manipulated, abused, too much suffering, loss, and pain. I gave up the idea of being friends. I had to accept he wasn’t interested.
The whole inherited convention and culture we were brought up in exploded in me. Gone! I couldn’t take any more, I had to allow the disconnection and take the risk of never re-connecting again. I didn’t suffer for my sake, nor for his, I suffered for the kids but I couldn’t allow their dad to continue. If I accepted, he would do the same to the girls. Exhausted, stressed and very angry, but not broken, I gave up my principles. They were not his. Prana came back to me, I healed hugely. I was so astonished but not surprised, I realized I had been hanging on to a negative connection.
I started to make decisions without him that I thought was the best for him, me and the girls. That’s when he changed. That’s when he said; I want us to be friends! It took three years. Sometimes we need to face the fear of disconnection to find the right connection. I would never have been able to go through this period without living my Olive Life.
Published by O• L I V E
Naturopaths who deeply believe Natural Immunity is still the best, and therefore we work in defense of it.
Since 20+ years we have successfully been consultants in the natural health sector to support individuals and we are in particular working with entrepreneurs and professionals. Our mission is to defend natural health, the only one that really works so far. We mainly but not entirely use Eastern philosophy such as Ayurveda, TCM, Yoga, Thai chi, Falun Gong, and only honest modern science.
Everyone can heal naturally, it's what bodies and (free) minds want. Our O• Method is based on physics, chemistry and biology with emphasis on the first one as the rest often follow naturally. We divide our work in three parts: Body-Mind-Soul. To allow them all to detox and let go we work with energy (Prana, Xi, Vitality, Spirit, Pneuma or whatever you call the life force, it's the same force mentioned in ancient texts) to heal on all levels, i.e. from chronic disease, toxicity, depression and traumas using our own method, reaching 96% success rate which is unheard of by others in our sector. Would you know of anyone with that result, let us know.
Considering that we invented and dumped >120.000 (petro)chemically derived substances since 1945, of which many are very toxic, getting healthy will most likely include a good old body detox sooner or later.
My love for Ayurveda started in 1993 with Deepak Chopra and after a few turns in life I quit my job as a Nordic Brand Manager and BI strategist at the largest Nordic telecom operator and re-schooled in natural medicine. Besides Dr. Chopra I have studied Dr. Lad, Dr. Siva (Pune, India) and other prominent teachers in their field, but the real difference comes with a practiced. I added nutrition, Orthomolecular Medicine with Dr. Nielsen (USA/Spain) and herbalism.
Today we teach those whom want to continue our work and we love to dig down in etymology and the original (mainly Avestan, Pali and Sanskrit) scripts to understand the words fully and I fall in love with the concepts over and over again for every sutra. This love affair that created a few books (Amazon), presentations, essayes and many events and consultations, is still giving us Yang-Yin balance and inspiration. I guess with that we are recognizing the value of Dao De Ching 💚🌿💜
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2 thoughts on “Separation – the Most Difficult Disconnection”
Very brave and so happy that all worked out so positively for you all dear C. With best wishes to you and the team. Love Liz xxxx
How did he stab you in the back ?
See I’ve been in a on and off 5 year relationship (longest off for 6 months) and the problem is we are great as friends and he is ALWAYS therefore me if i have trouble or need help or a shoulder to cry on but he loves me so much that he i guess pushes for a relationship and then we end up dating but when we do thats when it turns to shit – fights, arguing, disappointment. We broke up in September (hr left me- because he felt as tho he wasn’t good enough and was holding me back which is true and he had no job he was all negative 24/7 about this – he is materialistic) But just last week he got this great job, benefits, he loves it etc and now he wants to date again he feels like he is good enough and can make me happy etc. But I’m hesitating. I feel like everytime I’m with him I give up being me, i dont have as much fun as i want to, i dont do as much as i want to, but at the same time i do what i want sometimes and i have fun sometimes. Also I’m unattracted to the fact that he’s over weight (I mean he has a HUGE belly thats double my width and i’ve told him about healthy alternatives but he still isn’t changing in that sense (maybe it’s thyroid)) Its just I don’t know. If i stay with him it’s safe – we already know each other well and i can basically know my future. But if I don’t stay with him – ican work on me fully, i can be healthy i can be happy i can be free and practice my beliefs. if i stay with him im settling down and he doesn’t control me but when im with him he implements things and i seem to not think about my values and do what he wants. IDK. any advice ?