If we lose our fear of not succeeding we have a greater possibility to succeed. If our expectation of a certain outcome is a driving force but not a limitation we have a greater possibility to succeed too, as we detach from the “have to succeed”. The “need” for success will be a limitation if we fear not succeeding. The frustration a “need” creates is not an energy that makes us creative nor productive, but rather blocks our energy. Expectation is a driving force if we can work towards it but also be OK if it is not the actual outcome.
So why do we fear? We believe it is the fear of being judged, by others, society and more so by oneself. We put up criteria for success so that we will be “liked” by others. We fear that if we don’t have a certain level of money, beauty, power or whatever it might be, that we won’t be loved or accepted. But honestly, if someone loves us only because we can pay for them, have a nice title on a business card, or look a certain way, we should probably ask ourselves (and the person) if that is love or some other need. What if it is only in our head? Maybe the person says; “I love you” and means it but we hear other needs behind those words?
It is our own expectations that are limiting us from living fearlessly. It is only if we think that we will be judged and labeled as someone that didn’t succeed that we fear a certain outcome. If we label ourselves and others, we compare, and all comparing is relative to a certain measurement. So who sets the measurement?
Our Olive O7 principals #2 explains that our lives cannot be measured as we are not a finished product, we are a process. What might be measured as failure might turn out to be the start of a success, and vice versa. If a guy fails at university, has to sleep in his friends dormitories, finally drops out and gets a job he hates just to survive, makes money for a ticket to India, goes there to party and meditate, how is he measured? Finally he gets back, finishes his studies, starts a company, fails, starts another one and that company is called Apple Inc, and the guy is Steve Jobs. When should the measurement be done? If it is done when Steve Jobs is a drop out, is he then a looser? What if it was those years that lay the foundation of his later creativity.